Kate's Diary

Should a man pay for a woman?

Yes or no? And why?

I’ll start at the beginning, which is where the expectation that it is the man who will pay on a date for a woman came from. Despite appearances, the explanation is very simple. It used to be that upper-class women had no money of their own, as they were not allowed to work due to their status – earning was handled only by men, so they were also the ones who covered all expenses.

Now the situation is quite different: women are usually completely financially independent, and many times they are the ones who earn more than guys. However, the stereotype that men should pay has remained with many people. Is it right? Get my opinion. 🙂

A snare of apparent comfort

I’m a woman too, and I know it’s nice when a guy asks you out and covers the cost. However, what may be the rule at the first meetings will not last a lifetime. 🙂

Remember that having your own money, paying for yourself and financial independence in general gives you the most important thing – freedom. Many women fall into the trap I call the snare of apparent comfort. They like it when a man pays for them, feeling comfortable without worrying about the size of the bill. They get used to this convenience and begin to expect that it will always be like this. The problem arises when, for example, you come on a date, but the guy doesn’t like you, however, you didn’t take money to pay for yourself. Then the restraint appears, and you can’t just get up and leave. You fall into the trap of apparent comfort.

A date at an expensive restaurant

I know that many girls might say “If he invited me to an expensive restaurant, then let him pay for me. I don’t want to spend so much money on a meal. If I were the one inviting him, I would choose a cheaper restaurant.”

And it’s a very apt comment. The problem is that you have no guarantee that a man will pay for you. So what to do in such a situation?

Just be honest and ask “You know, we’re going to an expensive place, how do you imagine paying the bill?”. If he says that everyone is covering their costs, say that you would rather go to another, cheaper pub. Because is one date (and then another) worth blowing your budget on?

Bottom line: paying for you is not a man’s responsibility. Some do it, others don’t. You should always be ready to pay for yourself, and even sometimes not let a man cover the bill. Why? In this way you show him that you are independent and thus more attractive. An independent woman is harder to get, and men, after all, have a conqueror nature. 😉

Catherine Hajduk :*

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