Kate's Diary

How to overcome shyness and excessive modesty?

How many times have you missed a good opportunity? How many times have you failed to throw a pertinent comment in a discussion, even though you had it on the tip of your tongue? How many times have you let go of something you cared about? And all this just because you lacked boldness? I know the feeling well.

From a child we constantly hear: it’s not allowed, don’t discuss, it’s not appropriate, shame on you, girls don’t behave like that! And it stays in us, does not let us forget and blocks us every day. But excessive modesty can be fought. I managed to overcome it, and today I want to tell you how you can work on yourself to get rid of this burdensome limitation.

First: get to know yourself better

Do you want to defeat the enemy? Then locate it first and work it out properly. Where can you find it? In your own head – it’s a blockage that holds you back. Try to understand where it came from. Has it always been there, or has some person or situation in your life contributed to its construction? Observe yourself. When does shyness most often get you? In front of specific people, or maybe in specific places? How do you react then? Try to understand this mechanism and it will be much easier for you to meet it.

Second: the world does not revolve around you

Every time you criticize yourself in your mind for something, ask yourself: would you say the same thing if your best friend was in an analogous situation? Probably not. So why are you so hard on yourself? Remind yourself of this every time you want to criticize yourself for something again. Just because you’re not the best at everything doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. You are good enough. Be a best friend to yourself: don’t judge, support, motivate and appreciate 🙂

Fourth: find a goal

Ask yourself, what is your dream? Then set yourself a goal and determine the steps you need to take to achieve it. If you know what you want and how you want to live, it will be easier for you to grit your teeth and overcome your barriers to pursue it. Do you know how it was with me? One day I came to the conclusion that I wanted to enjoy my work, travel a lot and be financially independent. Easy to say, harder to implement. Because who wouldn’t? But I made it! It took me a while because I had to find my way and deal with my limitations. I did not believe in myself from the beginning, I thought I was not good enough, I had to overcome shyness.

If you feel that your goal is similar, that you want to explore the world, earn well and have fun at the same time – get back to me, I think I can help you 🙂


Catherine Hajduk:*

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