Honestly, about lonely men over 30

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What questions are most often heard by a single woman in her 30s? I know them very well. 😉 When will you find a husband? When will you have children? Don’t you know that the biological clock is ticking?

And no one goes through the thought that this woman feels happy and fulfilled, because … she has no husband and children. So whenever these women get golden advice from their aunts at family reunions or friends during coffee meetings, they should bounce the ball and ask: what about 30-year-old bachelors? And I am sure that then a really interesting discussion about lonely men in their 30’s can start.

There are 2 types among them: boys without obligations and idealists. And none need to listen to what his peer hears from family and friends: when stabilization, children and all the rest.

Boys without obligations

In clubs you see them very often: they are eternal singles who constantly think about the next entertainment, and partners in their bed can change every night. They do not engage in any relationships, most often they are based on open “friendships”, thanks to which they can enjoy the eyes of dancers so often.

They are singles who forever have time for real stabilization. They draw closeness from fleeting acquaintances, a sense of security from long-term friendships, and satisfaction from their professional careers. “Super” – their married colleagues think, looking with secret jealousy at the next achievements of our single: neat and of course younger girls. And although these men lead a very relaxed lifestyle and know about responsibility in a relationship only from the stories of friends, no one reproaches them. Their life is their choice and the environment respects it. And the choices of 30-year-old women are trying to change.

Boys without obligations … I know them very well. It happened to me that I meet and quickly end our relationship. Handsome, funny – at a glance: the ideal. However, one longer conversation was enough for the inner child to emerge from it. I remember one of his stories particularly well. He wanted to try a relationship and the perfect opportunity came because he fell in love. At least, he thought so until it turned out that in addition to having fun in bed and parties, his beloved could sometimes have a bad mood or get sick. And then you have to take care of her, she has a red nose, puffy eyes and a lack of desire for sex. “It was so boring. You can feel bad, but without exaggeration. “- he said. Do I have to comment on it additionally? Probably not.

Idealists

The second group of singles who seemingly are an excellent material for husband. At least in the eyes of the women he passed. They can distinguish something and each of us can find among them one that he says: I would like to be with him. One will delight an unusual hobby, another a well-paid job, and another – a passion for animals.

Nothing indicates that they may have problems with relationships, so you can quickly fall into their trap of exterior. So what’s inside? Let me explain. 😉

These men want to be in relationships, but idealized. They love butterflies in the stomach, looking into the eyes sweet, hugging on a walk in the park. That’s how they perceive the relationship forever. However, when there is a difference of opinion, the need to compromise on a holiday trip or another situation that does not coincide with the imagination, the bridges burn behind them. They don’t try to get along, talk, find solutions. Their behavior most reminds me of a situation in which a small child throws a broken toy into the bin, in his opinion, just replace its batteries.

These men are looking for their ideal woman and they will not even think that it may not exist. There is no reflection on their union failures. They do not realize that they have unreal expectations. They do not care, because for now relatively easy start new relationships. They know about their attractiveness and willingly use it. They just forget that to find Angelina Jolie, they would have to be men like Brad Pitt themselves.

In Poland, for women, people attribute only one legitimate role: an addition to the world of men. It is at the side of a man that gains in value, then at the side of a man finally gains a favorable view of the family. And it is at the man’s side that he finally finds happiness.
I do not agree with this boxing. Women have different desires, goals and priorities – what they really need is courage to achieve them. So don’t be afraid to take the next steps – just make sure you go in the direction you set (and not others!).

Katarzyna Hajduk :*

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