Kate's Diary

Are they licentious or sensual? A few words about being sexy

I have noticed that girls who are new to nightclub dancing often strive to be the best. Actually, that’s a good thing; in this industry, ambition and a high bar are a must.

But many of them are convinced that in order to achieve this, they have to get into the most skimpy and defiant outfit they can find and put on a licentious show. In my experience – nothing could be further from the truth! You need to know that the world’s top-earning dancers can feel the line between being vulgar and being sexy. Because the difference is huge.

Be yourself and attract stares

Clothing is one of the most important elements of a dancer’s work. You can get into character, feel confident. When I started traveling, frequenting clubs, and gathering experience for Kate’s Diary Agency, I looked like the other girls. At the time, it seemed to me that the more flesh I showed, the better. After all, that’s what it’s all about, that’s what men come to clubs for, right? Before that, I didn’t know the industry very well, I only had my ideas of what it all looked like from the inside.

Over time, as I became more familiar with this specific world, I realized that in order to feel truly sexy, I needed to feel in tune with myself. Through makeup and costume, you can bring out “that something” from deep inside you, stand out, show a sparkle in your eye. Your strength is your authentic sex appeal, if you feel good in your outfit, you don’t have to pretend.

When I embarked on my next trip, I was better prepared. I completely changed the style of my closet for work. I didn’t want to look like a typical club dancer anymore. In the fitted knee-length black dress I wore the first night, I might as well have gone to a party. I saw gazes stopping at my exposed shoulders. I attracted attention and at the same time remained unapproachable. Never before have I received so many compliments as I did then. It was amazing. But for me, the most important thing was that I showed class and felt comfortable with it. I think others sensed that. My confidence in myself won out.

Don’t reveal all your cards

There is a fine line between being sexy and being vulgar. Of course, everyone perceives it slightly differently. For me to be sexy is to have an intelligent sense of humor, distance from myself and the world, a sincere smile, a positive attitude. If you were to ask me what makes up feminine sex appeal for me, so purely visually, it would be the details – subtle makeup, well-groomed nails, delicately accentuated curves, exposed legs, unruly strands of hair….

When choosing an outfit, I rely on understatement. Airy dresses, discreet semi-transparency… Remember that nudity does not give room for imagination. Also beware of “glitters.” Many clubs have a rule against oily oils and glitter, also known as “stripper dust.” Are you curious why? It is said: “leave your mark in his mind, not on his clothes.”

You got it inside

Let me tell you a secret. True sex appeal has nothing to do with outward appearance. You know what’s sexy? Be able to hold a conversation with anyone. Make him feel special in your company. Be able to surprise someone with knowledge, familiarity, an apt comment or a cutting spicy joke. Keep it classy. In this way you show your expressiveness, your character. It seduces without an ounce of provocation.

Every time I think I’ve seen it all, something proves me wrong. That is why this industry will never cease to fascinate me. This drives me to act and grow.

Catherine Hajduk :*

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